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Is It Better To Approach Girls In Tokyo In English Or Japanese?

By Kaku Nanashi


A hot subject of argument amongst the sexually prolific bilinguals in Japan is whether you should approach Japanese girls in English or Japanese.

I've attempted it in both languages extensively. For me, it has constantly been much better to approach Japanese women in English. Bear in mind, I am not a typical foreigner so your situation could require a modification of strategy. My reasoning is as follows.

Standing Out and Avoiding Cultural Obstacles

I am Japanese-American. Prior to opening my yapper, I am not so different from the other 50 million native Japanese dudes in this nation. If I approach a lady with a standard Nihongo 101 greeting, I will be quickly classified as a run-of-the-mill Japanese male. Her brain will quickly toss me in a mental box with all the other Japanese dudes (most likely losers) who have propositioned her in the past. Odds are this is not in my favor, so I like to prevent this unfavorable knee-jerk response whenever possible.

By simply saying "hello" instead of "sumimasen", I immediately let the girl know that I am not Japanese, thus placing myself in a different category where the cultural expectations of Japanese culture do not apply. I also avoid any negative knee-jerk responses to being hit on in Japanese.

English-speaking asians are also somewhat intriguing to Japanese people due to our relative rarity. That extra bit of intrigue definitely has bought me a couple extra moments to work my charm on multiple occasions. If you're a non-asian, I still recommend using English initially because it will make any Japanese that you drop later in your interaction will be that much more of a welcome surprise.

Reason # 2: Fast Filtering and Predictable Responses

Most interactions in Japanese follow a very set sequence of polite phrases and tempered behaviors. Japanese people typically operate on autopilot in common social situations. This makes it very difficult for the uninitiated to the gauge how interested a Japanese girl may be. Using English to initiate a conversation short circuits these automatic responses and gives you a better look at what a Japanese girl is really feeling at the moment.

Reason # 3: Less Excuses

My Japanese is wonderful. Real wonderful. Hey there, everybody, come see how good my Japanese is. Even so, my English is still light years better. And I'm no master ladies' man. I still get approach anxiety sometimes. When I'm not feeling completely social, there are times when conversing in another language is just enough of an obstacle to make me say, "I'm going home". But since I mainly approach ladies with English, this reason seldom comes up in my mind.

You don't have to worry too much about the girl not understanding you. English education here is bad, but it's not so bad that they won't know what "hello" means. Use whatever greeting comes naturally to you and see where it takes you.

In Closing

In terms of time and effort, using English to approach Japanese girls just cannot be beat even if it's only for the initial "hi". Never feel like you "have to" talk to Japanese girls in Japanese.




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